Last August I wrote the first in a three-part series about why the commonly-parroted phrase that “your husband is the prophet, priest, and king of the home” is unbiblical. I did so a bit out of order, choosing to first write about why “Your Husband is not Your Priest”. Today, we’ll be backtracking, as it were, to now begin at the beginning and explain why the belief that your husband is to be your prophet is inaccurate, Biblically speaking.
It’s a two-way street.
Owen and I were asked, during an Instastories Ask-Us-Anything session, whether or not we would say that it is Owen who spiritually leads our home. Owen replied, “No. We both do.”
Now, you have to understand that this is a huge step for both of us. We were both raised in complementarian (borderline patriarchal in certain ways) families and grew up believing that the man was to be the spiritual leader of the home.
The past year or two, however, have been so interesting for both of us as we have searched the Scriptures (rather than what man says about the Scriptures!) and had many conversations, coming to the realization that there is actually no place in the entire Bible where we are told it is the man who is to solely lead the family spiritually.
As I have pointed out before, the counterpart of the command given to wives to submit is actually not a command given to husbands to lead. It’s a command given to husbands to love, which requires a laying down of their desires rather than an insistence on their own way (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
Leading our family in the ways of God, therefore, is not somehow a responsibility that is resting on Owen’s shoulders more than on mine. It is a responsibility given equally to both me and Owen as the parents of our children.
We are to be as iron that sharpens iron.
The issues with the idea that the man is to be the “prophet of the home” go far beyond its implication that the wife does not also have a responsibility to lead her children in truth. It also carries with it unbiblical implications for the marriage relationship, as well.
As I have written about before, the term “prophet” merely refers to one who proclaims God’s truth. We see multiple cases of female prophets (both married and unmarried!) throughout the Old and New Testaments (i.e. Miriam, Deborah, Anna, Joel’s daughters, etc.). In fact, in early church times it was expected that women would prophesy in the church services just as men did (see 1 Corinthians 11). To understand that to have been normal and expected in Bible times, but then to turn right around and, because we’re somehow scared of becoming feminists, say that the man alone is to be the prophet of the home is ridiculous.
The reality is that just as friends are to be as iron that sharpens iron (see Proverbs 27:17), so are the very closest of friends - husbands and wives! To think that my husband is the one in our relationship who is to single-handedly proclaim God’s truth in our household is absurd. Owen and I are to seek the best for each other, desiring that the other person would grow more and more into the man or woman God has called us to be. Because of this, it is our responsibility to speak truth to each other as the circumstance requires.
As Owen went on to share in that Instastory series last year, when I am in desperate need of Biblical truth, he steps in and provides me with that. Likewise, when I see that he is struggling and in need of God’s truth, it is my responsibility as his wife, his ezer, to step in and speak truth into his life, as well.
Contrary to what some authors teach, it is not incumbent upon me as a wife to sit on my hands and watch my husband fall into sin, struggle with anxiety, battle worry, or whatever the case may be simply because I am the wife and he is to be the only prophet of our home. Absolutely not! As his ezer (helper, see Genesis 2:18), it is my role to encourage and edify my husband in the truths of God’s Word just as he is to do the same for me (see Ephesians 5:26). The partnership between Priscilla and Aquila (Acts 18) is a beautiful example of this, while the dynamics between a couple like Abigail and Nabal (1 Samuel 25) show what can happen when a marriage is not constituted of two people who both proclaim and esteem God’s Word above all else.
Remember where your allegiance lies.
What must be remembered in this great debate over whether or not the husband is to be the prophet of the home is this: we are to always be ready and willing to speak truth (see 2 Timothy 4:2), whether we are men, women, young, old, married, or single. Our allegiance is to God, and we are to uphold His truth and offer it to others every chance we get. That doesn’t change with the advent of a marriage license.
so good! so good! been on a similar journey and sometimes it’s sure hard for me to get past what I was taught in the past but grateful for a husband who encourages me to walk together. 🙂