The One Comparison Game You Should be Playing

All the time we hear about the dangers of the comparison trap. Even though we still struggle with this temptation, we know deep down that comparing ourselves to other women, pitting ourselves against each other, competing, and pursuing perfectionism so that we might finally come out on top are not only dangerous and defeating, but downright unBiblical.

While there are no winners in the comparison game we typically play, there actually is one comparison game we should all be playing, and that is a daily pursuit of comparison to Christ.

The Here and Not Yet of Image Bearing

We know from Genesis 1:26-27 that we have been made in the image of God and yet when it comes to bearing Christ’s image, we are still on the path of sanctification, daily seeking to grow closer to that goal. We are to be Christ’s ambassadors on this earth (2 Corinthians 5:20), salt and light that portrays the goodness of Christ to the watching world. And yet we are continually all works in progress on this side of heaven.

The One to be Imitating

While we as women are so busy comparing ourselves to one another, seeking to live up to the example of a sister-in-Christ or else priding ourselves in the fact that we are “better” than another woman, there is one person we should be imitating in our pursuit of ultimate imitating Christ, and that is the Apostle Paul. He writes in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.”

While comparison is typically about following someone else’s man-made standards, imitating the Apostle Paul or another godly example in your life is more about following them as they follow the Lord’s standards and commands. It is appropriate for us to imitate Paul, because to do so would not be to imitate someone dedicated to living out the expectations or ways of man, but of God.

What to Look for When Deciding to Imitate Someone

While the one comparison game we should be playing is the one in which we compare ourselves to the example of Christ, God can use our imitation of other people to get us there. It is important, however, that we only give others that level of influence in our lives when we know them to be people who are following hard after the Lord and truly walking in His ways.

Here are three characteristics of a person who you can wisely imitate:

• They are walking by the Spirit, not relying on their own efforts.

Where many of us get tripped up is when we rely on our own efforts to make ourselves more like Christ. We despair because we set out with good intentions to be more loving or kind or patient, seeking to cultivate those character qualities in our lives through our own mustered-up strength and ability. Inevitably, the result of this is that we fall short of the mark we have set for ourselves, because we are walking by the flesh and relying on fallen, sinful humanness to be enough to produce the fruits of the Spirit in our lives.

Before Paul ever gets to the point of sharing with us what those fruits are (see Galatians 5:22-23 for the complete list), he first shares with us how those fruits are produced in our lives: “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. (verse 16)”. This means that as we simply seek to immerse ourselves in Bible study and prayer, surround ourselves with godly friends, and seek the Lord’s input and direction in our lives, these fruits will naturally begin to appear in us. That’s truly all that walking by the Spirit is - acknowledging Him, being in communion with Him, and following His Word.

It doesn’t have to be complicated, it isn’t mystical, and there’s no 10 step program you have to hold to through fortitude, strength, and dedication you muster up yourself. Instead, it’s quite simple. Walk by the Spirit (i.e. spend time with and listen to Him), and the fruits of the Spirit will be a natural outworking of this time spent together.

Imitate people who understand and live this out, and you will naturally be made more like Christ in the process. As we are told in Philippians 1:6, “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” He is the One who does the work; not us.

• They are only proclaiming and believing that which God has said, not what they have added to it.

God tells Balaam time and again in Numbers 22 that he must be careful to proclaim only precisely that which God had actually told him. Deuteronomy 4:2 says, “You shall not add to the word which I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” It is of utmost importance that in a day in age governed by unbiblical extremes on all sides as opposed to balanced, Biblical truth, you find someone who upholds and esteems the Word of God so much that they are careful to neither add man-made laws to it nor ignore what God actually did say. In order to recognize this type of person, it is imperative that you know the Word of God yourself.

• They are seeking to point you to Christ, not arrogantly setting themselves up as the ultimate standard.

Paul didn’t tell us to imitate him and leave it at that. No, he said imitate me as I imitate Christ. If we begin to notice that someone we have up to this point been imitating begins to veer off course into unBiblical territory, at that point it is time to stop imitating them. When looking for someone to imitate and be mentored by, be careful to only follow after those who are characterized by a godly humility that truly does seek to take themselves out of the picture and point you to Christ.

Not All Comparison is Bad

The comparison trap, pitting ourselves against others, and trying to one-up each other or else despair that we don’t measure up to others are all problems we face in this culture. But that doesn’t mean that all comparison games are bad. There is one comparison game we should involve ourselves in, and that is a mission to compare ourselves to Christ. The way we grow in Christlikeness is through finding and emulating godly mentors as they themselves imitate Christ. They may seem few and far between, but they are there! Pray and ask the Lord to bring such people across your path, and you will be that much closer to growing in the likeness of Christ!